Title: Kiss?
Author: Am-Chau Yarkona
Rating: adult
Summary: Lex is angry. My first Smallville fic.
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
"So, do I get a kiss?" he asks, smiling up at me.
He's sitting by the fire, stripped to the waist because he came in through the rain and his shirt was wet, looking more gorgeous than anyone in this world should. It's good to have him here—time spent in Clark's company is always worthwhile, and the fewer clothes he's wearing the better it gets.
I love having him so close, my handsome, strong (very strong; strong in ways that make me wonder who he is and what vitamins his parents feed him) apparently indestructible mysterious lover. I love it; and yet, as I look at him, kneeling by the fire, his cheeks reddening for the heat or my scrutiny, young and carefree and happy and so utterly *different*—and why has he never been hurt? why's he so strong, why doesn't he bleed?—there are a thousand questions in my mind.
I've asked, and he turns away, or walks out, and I don't ask again because I'm afraid to lose him.
I give freely of myself, of my time and money and love. He gives some back—time, and love, but no secrets. Sometimes it's enough; but sometimes it's not.
I want to learn his secret, know his mind as well as I know the contours of his body, know his real abilities. Know who he is. Images scroll behind my eyes: trying to kill him, a hundred methods of torture until I find one that works; leaving him, hurting him, making him scream or cry or bleed, anything to crack that calm face that smiles and lies.
Even in bed, I scream and he does not. He's holding back, always—perhaps not to hurt me, perhaps not to reveal himself.
I hate him. I'll force him to give in, one of these days.
But now, he smiles at me, trusting, insincere, and gorgeous, and surely one more nigh of ignorance will not kill me. I put the mystery I hate to the back of my mind. He wants to be kissed? Fine. I'll kiss him. It'll stop me asking questions I know he wouldn't answer.