Title: Darkness
Author: Am-Chau Yarkona
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
Pairing: Hawkeye/Radar
Written for the mash-slash list; fair game for the archive.
You're restless
again, sitting in the Swamp in your red towelling robe, turning the glass round
and round, watching how it reflects the dim light through the alcohol within,
and never settling down at all.
I wish there was something I could do, something to help you, to take away the dead boy and make him come alive again, so that you wouldn’t have failed. But I can’t do that: and the things I can do, you’d never accept. You wouldn’t take my teddy bear—you’d hand him back with a smile, tell me I needed him more. You’d push me away if I sat down by your side and tried to comfort you; if I tried to kiss you, you’d probably hate me.
You kissed me once: Trapper knew how I feel, and he made me kiss you. You kissed me back for that, but I wasn’t ready for it and I tried to wash it away. Now I sit opposite you and watch you watching the reflections, and how could I ever have wanted you to stay in the dark?